I'm in Love with FRED but Don't tell my HUSBAND!

The other day I met a man named Fred. He was kind and gentle and made everything in life seem so simple and easy to understand. I AM IN LOVE. Before Fred, things were complicated and hard to understand.
So I got up the nerve to tell my husband about Fred. He seemed skeptical at first until I told him how wonderful he was. He said "bring Fred home" so I can check him out. So I did.
Guess what my husband loves Fred too and we think we will let him stick around. The kids love Fred and he makes things so exciting for them. We HEART FRED!!!!

If you are not confused enough yet, I am talking about "Life of Fred" Math curriculum. I love it for different reasons. I currently have 3 children and all of them love it for different reasons as well.

Child #1
Needs REAL LIFE application to make sense of numbers and math. Remembering rules and steps was enough to end each lesson in tears. Fred solved this problem for her.

Child #2
A complete braniac that gets totally bored with repetitive math
lessons that he has mastered. Fred lets him "hit it and quit it", so he can get satisfaction in learning new things constantly.

Child #3
My 1st grader that is a "moving learner". You have to snag him with witty concepts and action to nail him down in a chair. Fred's adventures and funny approach is perfect for my little guy!

Mommy
I purchase one set of books for all my kids which saves me hundreds of dollars a year. I see the joy and the "I get it" in my kids eyes andcan't help but LOVE FRED!

Daddy
Of course the $$$$$ savings is a big deal to dad. He also has the pleasure of not having me tell him about our "math warfare" everyday when he gets home. 

It may not work for everyone but that is the beauty of homeschooling. You get to customize what works and change routes whenever needed.

OUR WHOLE HOUSE IS IN LOVE WITH FRED! Check it out!

www.lifeoffred.com



Toodles :)

Simple Guide to Creating Your Own Unit Studies

When I started home schooling I was such a Nervous Nelly about getting everything right. I wanted the perfect formula and the exact instructions to do this thing to the max. I ordered my boxed curriculum and followed it to the "T". After 2 years and oodles of confidence later, I felt there was a better way for my kid's learning style. I noticed they were reading and filling out workbooks but were not retaining the information long term.
I eventually decided to continue a curriculum for math and language arts, but everything else needed a complete overhaul. There are awesome websites and companies that offer unit studies on every subject that you can think of. This of course comes at a price. If you have several children with different passions and learning styles, that is a lot of money to invest. It is my goal to give you simple steps at creating your own easy and thorough unit studies that will open up a world of learning on an array of subjects for your kids.

1 Be a collector of information
I am constantly picking up brochures, books, magazines, workbooks, on-line articles, websites and more. As you collect information on different subjects organize them by subject in one notebook, box or anything that works for you. Know your children's passions and gifts and you can collect things that they love and can become experts on. These can be topics or people that have made a big difference in history.

For Example: I have an entire box of brochures, coloring books, fact books, puzzles, games and more all centered around Space and Astronauts. I have handed this box to my 8 year old and for 2 days he worked on a list of 25 facts on Space and Astronauts.

2 Creating an Outline
Create a list of questions that will exhaust every aspect of the topic. Questions should include the historical information, scientific background, important people involved and how our world has been affected by this topic. You can also create art projects to go with the topic.

3 Age Appropriate Changes
Depending on the age of your child, you will need to create a different outline to help them through the assignment. For example: A 2nd grader can use the same collection of information on the topic of trains that an 11th grader uses. The outcome will be more elaborate based on the level of understanding.

4 Get Started
Present your child with the collection of information and explain your expectations. Take your child to the library for additional research as well as giving them monitored time on the internet to investigate information.

5 For younger children (3rd grade and under), I generally assign the unit study in the form of a list of facts regarding the topic or person they are studying. For example: 25 Facts About the Civil War. 4th grade and above can do the study in paragraph/report form answering all of the questions you prepared.

Unit Studies give your child the chance to study things they are passionate about and they allow them to see the history, science and art behind every topic. It makes learning fun and it teaches your children how to be investigative learners and problem solvers .

Have Fun!

Why I don't fit the Home School MOLD!

When I decided to home school, I got a lot of raised eye brows. I assume it is because of the odd families that have been highlighted on TV specials or things they have heard about over the years. For the last 3 years I have attended a great home school conference where I have gotten a lot of great materials, inspiration and direction. This year was a little different.

I called my husband on the way home from my 3 days away at the conference. "I will not be coming back", I said. He responded with an interested ear, "What happened?" I had the hardest time getting out my thoughts and why I had such an odd feeling. This does not mean I will never attend another, but I will not be put in that situation again.


Why I will not be going back:

Reason #1
I was made to feel like dressing up, wearing make-up and jewelry that I enjoy is less holy than the ladies walking around me with floor length skirts and tennis shoes. To each her own, but I enjoy fashion as well as homeschooling my children. This has nothing to do with whether I am a real Christian or home schooler. 

Reason #2
I am not taking a vow of poverty just because I am a homeschooler. I serve a God that supplies my needs and desires. Deciding to barely get by is not the gospel I subscribe to. Am I a wealthy, big spender? No. I also am not a penny pincher. I enjoy nice things and I enjoy blessing my children with them as well. I will not be made to feel guilty for that. I teach and model godly principles for my children and I home school them for many reasons that include my religious beliefs.

Reason #3
I am black. You may say, "So What?" In the world of home schooling, black stay- at-home mom's are not common. Of those that do stay home, home schooling your children is even more uncommon in the African American Culture. Although, the numbers are on the rise in recent years. When I join home school groups, classes, etc, my family is always the only black family involved. I teach my children to be confident in who they are so that we don't deal with too many issues. In these circles, we are usually treated well, but there is always a level of curiosity that we get from others that can feel a bit uncomfortable. In Black circles we are considered weird, religious, helicopter parents. It is what it is! It does not bother me enough to change what we are doing.

Reason #4
I refuse to treat people who send their kids to public or private school like they are negligent parents. The theme with a lot of the circles I have explored is that home schooling is the only way and that if you don't, you don't care as much about your kids as I do. That is simply not true! I am a supporter of any parent that gets involved in their child's education and advocates for the very best whether it is homeschooling, private or public schooling. Home schooling was our choice. It works for OUR family very well and we love it. That does not mean it is for everyone.

So, in many ways I do not fit into the "homeschool mold". I am still very passionate about my convictions, my God and homeschooling my children. The next time you run into a homeschooler that does not fit "the mold", be nice. After all, we all want the same things for our children right? To raise God fearing, God serving, well-rounded and educated children who accomplish God's perfect plan for their life. Right?

The Busy Home School Mom's Guide to Romance- Interview on Family by Design Radio

Listen to this awesome podcast as I interview Heidi St. John. She is one of the most prolific voices for homeschoolers today and the author of two great books, "The Busy Homeschool Mom's Guide to Romance" & " The Busy Homeschool Mom's Guide to Daylight".

http://toginet.com/podcasts/familybydesign/FamilyByDesignLIVE_2012-06-19.mp3?type=podpage

Fostering Creativity in a Digital World

We live in such a fast paced world that it is hard to slow down and actually enjoy silence or a good book. I remember playing outside for hours as a kid. Today's kid is overwhelmed by messages from the TV, computer, cell phones, video games and more. I never had those things competing for my attention as a child or teenager.

Does your child know what is like to be alone and have quiet time? Are they in a complete frenzy when you make them turn off the TV and video games? Do they know how to entertain themselves. Many adults and children alike say that they are not creative. To be creative takes inspiration and what inspires one person may not inspire another. We are ALL creative in different ways. If we never slow down to foster and explore our creativity, we may never find it.

You cannot let a child spend so much time on the internet, video gaming, in front of the TV or constantly gone for extra curricular activities that they never know HOW to have quiet down time. In my home, we have daily quiet reading time as well as creative play & family play.

Quiet Reading Time- this is different from their reading for home school assignments. This is reading that fosters their passions and current interests. They are required to go in a room alone with all their favorite books and enjoy the down time while reading about their favorite subjects, people, magazines, etc. I always tell my kids that anything they want to be, anywhere they want to go and any area in which they want to be an expert STARTS IN A BOOK!

Creative Play Time- this is time where they have no technology to keep them in a daze. Whether it be indoors or outdoors they are given a few things to play with and get creative. Once, I took all of the toys out of the play room (I mean ALL) and I told them to get creative. Before I knew it they came into the kitchen with a play they had reenacted from their favorite Bible story. I have done the same with outdoor time. "OK guys, you have nothing but balls to play with outside today." Together they came up with many fun games that they would have never come up with if they were not in that situation. Things like this foster creativity, learning how to re-purpose things and confidence in their own ingenuity.

Family Play- Sending them outside is a good thing! However, going outside with them and actually getting down and dirty is even better. Kids will remember that their play time was not always time for you to cook, get chores done or have down time yourself BUT that it is fun time for you too. Play games, sports, wrestle, art and any other group activities your family enjoys together.

Not one of these things requires an electronic device and your kids will thank you for it! ENJOY!

Stay-At-Home Moms Don't Have to be Stressed Out

We have seen a lot in the news lately about the debate between stay-at-home moms and working moms. It saddens me that either group has to defend their commitment to their family whatever their choice may be. What irritates me the most is this latest fad of articles that talks about how the stay-at-home mom is more stressed and depressed than the working mom. Even if the research is true (which I don't believe it is), AT-Home MOMS DON'T HAVE TO BE STRESSED OUT! So let's delve in shall we.

I read these articles and this incomplete research and shake my head. Whose agenda is this anyway? I myself was on a fast track career path before we adopted our 3 children in 2006. After they came, my desire to be home completely changed. I had waited so long to be a mom, I just wanted to capture every moment once it finally happened. I am also a home schooler and I enjoy it immensely. I AM FAR FROM STRESSED OUT! There was a time when I was a bit stretched because of an organization that I was a part of. It was difficult to handle the pressure and expectation and live the life that I desired to live at the same time. Once we removed ourselves from that controlling influence, our lives have taken a much more exciting turn. So much so, that we are adopting 3 more children this year and are ecstatic about it! I run my own company and non-profit out of my home that focuses on my passion of adoption and foster care. I love what I do and the opportunity to home school my children at the same time. I thank God for a loving and supportive husband who recognizes how hard I work and gives me time to pursue other interests.

I share all of this for a reason. There are several reasons why a stay-at-home mom can be stressed out. Many of which can include the following:

1)  Financial Stress
If the decision to stay home came with the decision to cut a significant amount of income from your household BUT not cut back on expenses and lifestyle, then it can be stressful. A family must decide if  they can maintain their lifestyle on the new income  or if they need to make adjustments. Is it the right time to stay home? Is it really going to work for your family? Also, taking a look at your talents and passions, is their something you can do from home that will make up for the lost income? Answering these questions will help alleviate the stress.

2)  Difficult Marital Times
If your relationship with your husband is not tight and strong, it can be easy to hold resentment and bitterness toward him for having time away so often. A husband must be supportive and 100% on board with the idea of a wife staying home. He must also be 100% supportive of her efforts, the work she does and the fact that she needs a break often to rejuvenate and refuel. On the flip side of this, the wife must want to be at home. It cannot be a forced issue, or she will be stressed and bitter about it. Open communication and willingness to value the role each of you have chosen is paramount.

3)  Disorder
An unorganized and cluttered environment is enough to stress anyone out. Get help if needed. Get the house in "working order". Clean out, under and around the house and create systems that work for your family. It will make things easier and your environment definitely affects your mood and reaction to life.
    
4)   Outside Forces
Take inventory of things that you are a part of, relationships that are toxic and duties that are not required and determine if they are a source of stress. If you are surrounded by people that do not support your efforts, dreams or goals for your family, it can stress you out!

5)   Sometimes as moms, we can use a check-up from the neck-up. Attitude is everything. Sometimes we start complaining about things we have the ability to change. Prayer, perspective and reality always help get you back on track. Prayer= getting God involved. Perspective= counting ALL the many blessings around you. Reality= what is the truth and what is embellished discontent.

On the opposite side of the spectrum are mothers who HATE their careers and want to be able to stay home. They may be depressed because they feel trapped and want a different life. Planning and an agreement between you and your spouse could be all you need to head in that direction.

The most important thing is that you  know what you want, figure out how to make it happen and keep yourself motivated and in an environment that supports that. If you and your spouse decide for you to work or stay home, do your thing and make no apologies for it! STAY-AT-HOME MOMS DO NOT HAVE TO BE STRESSED OUT!

The Motives and Heart Behind Home Schooling

I am what they call an accidental home schooler. I was never exposed to home schooling growing up. Never knew much about it at all. Never investigated it, considered it or thought twice about it UNTIL I became a mom. In 2006, after years of loss and infertility we adopted 3 kids at once. 2 toddlers and a new born all in one swoop! WOW, was that parent boot camp or what? They were pretty young so school was not really on my mind then. As they got older and I enjoyed being at home after being on a fast-track career path, I started to entertain home schooling. At that point I still knew nothing and no one who had done it. Those that I had heard of were weirdos I saw on TV. As Kindergarten drew closer for my oldest princess I got nervous. We lived across the street from one of the best elementary schools in our city, so I chickened out the first week of school and signed her up.

Two years, 3 schools and lots of issues later.......home school came back to the forefront of our heart. She needed something different and no one else was going to be there to give it to her. With 35 kids in the class, she simply was not getting her needs met which was causing problems for her and her teachers. At this time I had a 5 yo in Kindergarten and a 3 yo at home.

It started off pretty good as I began to understand how much support, materials and how many people actually do it. One month after I started home schooling my daughter, I attended a home school conference in my city. I spent 3 days immersed in the home schooling culture and my life was changed forever. There were 1000's of home school families, workshops on every topic you can imagine to help you along the way and a vendors hall equal to a home school mom's heaven. I think I cried in every single workshop as I sat and heard parents with families just like mine.

What I was hearing was absolutely blowing my mind! I was home schooling b/c of my daughters need for extra attention and the fact that I had the time and understanding of how she learned. But what I was hearing from so many of these parents was much different. They were home schooling b/c of their convictions. All the academic stuff was secondary. It was about discipleship! Now I have been passionate about my faith as a Christian for many many years. I had just never
looked at home schooling in this way.

At this point I decided that I was going to home school all my children. Not ONLY b/c I could choose their curriculum or teach according to their learning styles. I was ALSO doing it with conviction. I am NOT an anti-public school person. I don't believe that my kids are better b/c they home school. This is what we decided we wanted for our family.

Many friends and family were skeptical as we expected, but we pushed forward anyway. Now I was armed with my conviction of discipleship,  curriculum, support groups, books, new friends and most of all kids that were loving it.

Now we have been home schooling for 3 years! Has it been all roses? No! We are just like every other family. There are days when there are attitudes, lack of motivation, antsy kids, whining and a fed up mommy. Even on those days, we push through. We take a break when we need one and move on. I love seeing my kids learn new things and spending time with them that will be gone before I know it.

Lately I have been feeling like we need a change of pace. We will be dramatically changing our curriculum for the coming year and I plan on giving them much more liberty in their learning time. Something else that has come up lately as well, is attitudes. Attitudes with us as parents and with their siblings. Behavior that I never saw coming. So yes, our schooling is going great and they are right on schedule. I have all my chore lists, checklists, menus lists, grocery lists and every other kind of list that we faithfully run our household by. HOWEVER, Discipleship became my focus again.

You can have ALL those other technical, educational and financial things in place. If you do not remember the thing that is "needful" as Jesus would say, the rest is all for naught. This goes for home schoolers and every other kind of schooler. The discipleship of our children is much more important than getting straight "A's" in their school work.

Discipleship is a BIG part of our home school. This week, I have decided that it is the ONLY thing that we are focusing on. WHY? I have noticed a few things in the way they have begun to relate to each other and their overall attitude towards their work and instructions.

I am reading "Say Goodbye to Whining, Complaining and Bad Attitudes in YOU and Your Kids !" by Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller. I have learned so much and I realized that I as the mother control the environment. It is not only their attitude that is affecting our world but mine as well!

So as I start with me and my approach, I know that I will begin to see a big difference in them. Less criticism, more praise. Less law and rules, and more liberty! I will let you know how it goes! We are seeing great results already.

MOM, THE ENVIRONMENT IN YOUR HOME STARTS WITH YOU!

Toodles :)